If At First You Don’t Succeed, Join The Alt-Right.
White supremacists believe that white people are genetically and culturally superior to all other races.
For such a superior bunch, they seem to have ZERO cognitive dissonance in blaming others for their struggles.
Think about it: If Usain Bolt was running against some painfully slow dude, e.g., the author of this article, it wouldn’t matter what “obstacles” I put in his way. I could give myself a 50-meter head start on the 100-meter dash, and he’d still beat me. I could put hurdles throughout, and he’d still whip me. He could have actual swine flu and outrun my porcine frame.
That’s because Usain Bolt is literally genetically superior to me in “potential for running prowess.” He’s also genetically superior to me in ability to grow dreadlocks and having a cool Jamaican accent. Miles ahead of me, not even a contest.
It isn’t a racial or ethnic or national thing; it’s a Usain Bolt thing. He’s a freak of nature. So am I, just in other, pudgier, slower, less-gold-medal-winning ways. Look, I saw John Belushi’s “Little Chocolate Donuts” ad on SNL when I was a kid, and I thought it was real and took it literally for 40 years. How the hell was I supposed to know?
When someone is literally and vastly genetically superior to someone else, there’s not much anyone can do to even things up. The genetically superior person is going to win a lot more often than not.
However, when your “genetic superiority” is merely self-reported with zero evidence to support the assertion, you’re left in a quandary each time things don’t go your way: either everyone else is rigging the game against you, or you’re completely full of shit.
Stuck working at a dead-end job and can’t seem to get a promotion? Can’t be your own fault, you’re a member of the master race. Must be the company’s diversity policy.
Can’t get into a good school? It can’t be that you’re at best a slightly above-average student competing against a pool of geniuses. No, that can’t be it. It must be affirmative action, giving those crafty minorities a leg up.
Starting a small business and having trouble getting a loan? Sure would be easier if you were starting a minority-owned business, those minorities get all of the good programs.
Or…it could be that you’re not taking responsibility for your own shortcomings.
I know plenty of people who have achieved success irrespective of obstacles. There are — objectively — executives and high-ranking officials at every company in America. Most are white. Most are male. Them’s facts, Buford. There is a growing number of ethnic minority and female executives, but it’s still a small fraction of the entire pie.
Pop quiz. Get out your #2 pencils. I am not sure why #1 or #3 pencils won’t work, but they won’t. Don’t screw this up over graphite hardness questions, okay?
1. If people are indeed getting promoted in this world, but YOU aren’t getting to the level you want in your company, which is more likely?
(a) You’re not as good as you think you are, or perhaps you’re in the wrong company for your special snowflake skill set, or
(b) The company is stacking the deck against you because you’re a member of majority race of this country.
When you hear hoofbeats in the hallway, go look for horses. Not zebras. The answer is A, dipshit.
2. If people are getting into the school of your dreams, but YOU didn’t get in, which is more likely?
(a) In an applicant pool of thousands of people, and in our stated desire to create an incoming freshman class that is diverse in every possible way, your application wasn’t chosen based on the totality of your qualifications vs. those of other people in the pool, or
(b) The college’s affirmative action program gave Black applicants a leg up, and a less qualified Black person took your spot.
Again, the answer is A for Abercrombie. There are hundreds of great colleges out there, and each has a right to look at whatever they choose. The law states they cannot only consider race, but they can consider it as part of the process.
Don’t like it? Sorry, cupcake. Good thing you’re white and it won’t affect you that much in your life. Quit making excuses for yourself — I know plenty of successful people who never even went to college, and plenty more who went to “lesser” schools, and they have done just fine. Hell, I’m one of them — proud graduate of the University of Houston, not exactly Harvard. Make shit happen, Braden, or Carter, or whatever your name is.
But instead of taking personal responsibility for their shortcomings, members of the alt-right movement insist that their failings are the fault of someone else. The government. The Jews. Blacks. Mexicans. Liberal coastal elites. Anyone but themselves.
Do you know who wasn’t at Charlottesville with a (eye roll) god damn tiki torch they redeemed a 20% off coupon for down at Bed Bath & Beyond?
The rally was absolutely devoid of people who’ve taken responsibility for their lives. Oh, there were a few popular, successful YouTube personalities and newsletter publishers there: you know, people who’ve made a buck by sending out pandering bullshit to the predictable sheeple who blame everyone else for their problems.
But other than that, no one who has overcome obstacles to arrive at success through hard work and sacrifice bothered to show up.
Instead, a bunch of keyboard warriors with badly misplaced anger and vitamin D deficiencies showed up. They were flanked by unemployed factory workers who “have a black friend,” and long-haul truckers who “have covered every inch of this country and can tell you what the hell is wrong with America,” assuming when you say “America,” you mean “truck stops along I-80.” *pees into a bottle to make better time on account of that lot lizard who he started to fall for before she done broke his got-dam heart back in Toledo.
No one in the alt-right movement is going to read this post and have an epiphany, and that’s because professional blamers like these clowns discount evidence that runs counter their own opinions. Also, it’s like 1,100 words, and there’s only one picture in it, so there’s that.
So it’s up to us, readers. We have to change the world’s view of the alt-right from “angry, dangerous, racist white people,” to what it really is:
A bunch of whiners who are too lazy and too stupid to succeed, so they blame their failures on everyone else.
Pretty funny that they’re all members of the “party of personal responsibility,” isn’t it? (second eye roll in one article.)
Originally published at hittingthetrifecta.com on August 15, 2017.