Look, How About You Save Your Daylight For Someone Who Actually Cares?

Happy End of Daylight Saving Time!

Thank goodness it has finally ended. The post-work sunshine was starting to interfere with my allotted hours of solitary introspection. Besides, what’s the point of the sun when my fields lie fallow and I shan’t plant again until the raven’s ca-caw at Spring’s first light! You know, those fields I tend from my apartment and such.

This time of year, I like to settle in with my sleeping cap firmly upon my head and drift off to peaceful slumber in the 4:30 pm darkness. Sure, it’s terrifying for my Uber passengers, but those control freaks need to take that up with their therapists. Or maybe choose an Uber that doesn’t have a sleeping-cap-wearing driver.

Apparently, some people in The Swamp™ are attempting to scrap our sacred winter tradition of exacerbating everyone’s Seasonal Affective Disorder.

I would make a joke about how SAD that is, but such a joke would be a truly sad use of my literary skills. Plus, I’m presently weeping in a Panera Bread because it’s dark at 4:30 pm, and it’s hard to see my laptop’s screen through my seasonally-generated tears. I’d go cry at home, but home doesn’t have free Diet Pepsi refills.

Yes, there are people in Congress on the “Big Sunshine” payroll that think daylight is our nation’s biggest priority right now.

Health care? Nah.